Some writings…from me
Lying under and over
Close my eyes to see light shifting waving centralizing nuclear-radiating
My back shakes
My leg cramped for a while
Vrrrooooooommmmm
Mmmmmmm
My fingers rise
Falls
Struts
Holds
Wonders
Kicks
I reached out
I didn’t reach out a lot
I wish I did
声压
魔一声
的声压
压——————
是光环吗
散射的光环
是今天的丝网海报
是神的仰视
神的声压
其实更喜欢一开始
那种即将开始的红光和帮助描写着我心境的地铁摩擦声
我的记忆
快把心脏吐出来的感觉
“Now we welcome our students to present this fantastic show they’ve been preparing for 3 months.”
“Please turn off your phone and remain quiet, the show is about to begin.”
*Que Music*
I then forgot all that.
The Pearl Sea
Baths and tile walls on the edge of her emotion, fog splashed 涌出来了雾涌出来了(gushed the fog gushed out)。 Plucked fallen hairs she gathered under the dim 夜色(night sight). Fingertips with 发蓝的泡沫，像虫子一样(blueish foam like worms)。garlics chopped outside of the bathroom like they are in a 摇篮一般(like a cradle)，冒着泡泡呢热腾腾的尖叫的泡泡（bubbling, steaming screaming bubbles)。
-“There’s a typhoon coming real soon.”
-“有个台风马上要来了。”
They said, drinking steaming screaming tea on the balcony over watching the north mountainside. Broken tree trunks and bent twigs swung along the gushing wind and there are the bougainvilleas calling to the lady standing in the cold muddy seawater, with a pearl as big as her heart in her hands, looking away from her lover on the north mountain side.
水和風和霧和那陣淅淅瀝瀝的聲音，那聲反反复復回響的聲音，那陣歌聲，在南邊迴響，在搖籃裡迴響，下一秒就要翻湧著颱風帶著洪水一般湧入出海口。是混亂的同時那沒有意識的發現，發現了便是混亂中的安靜，冗長的安靜。（Shuǐ hé fēng hé wù hé nà zhèn xīxī lìlì de shēngyīn, nà shēng fǎn fǎnfù fù huíxiǎng de shēngyīn, nà zhèn gēshēng, zài nánbian huíxiǎng, zài yáolán lǐ huíxiǎng, xià yī miǎo jiù yào fānyǒngzhe táifēng dàizhe hóngshuǐ yībān yǒng rù chū hǎi kǒu. Shì hǔnluàn de tóngshí nà méiyǒu yìshí de fǎ xiàn, fāxiàn le biàn shì hǔnluàn zhōng de ānjìng, rǒngcháng de ānjìng.）
她的爱人望向了另外一处
Her lover glanced the other way
“Not welcomed.”
Rewind. Dniwer.
-transhures, they built up themselves, brick by brick, twig by twig, tin cans by tin cans, metal strings by metal strings, UCU strike flyers by UCU strike flyers. Underneath the wind the water the fogs the songs the hair the noises, under the muddy water of the pearl sea, wait they didn’t build themselves. Or did they.
Stare
I might not do this again
我的心脏跳得很快
一开始只是爱
是不可过多解释的拨弄着心弦的
我看上去
我的血丝(my bloodstream)
有痘(I have acne)
有黑头(I have blackheads)
有痣(I have moles)
扣的(scratched off）
小胡茬子（little stubbles）
疤（scar）
刘海垂下来（falling bangs）
你真的挺好的你知道吗（you really are somehow great do you know that)
（笑）
Warm tide swashes in
Like under-skin currents
All over my face
The face was whole and round and sharp again
Caught by blue and green and brown hair
Eye sight dims a bit under the cold white light
I want to say I love you though
我在拿自己做实验吗？(Am I using myself as an experiment?)
今晚就(tonight I will)
被别人盯着的时候要盯着别人的鼻梁(when you got stared by someone stare at their nose ridges)
我好像不能同时看着自己的两只眼睛(I can’t seem to stare at my two eyes at the same time)
很累吧 Arin(it must be tired Arin)
我爱你(I love you)
我爱你哦(I love you o)
The blood flows faster
A tickling trigger with flowing warm water swirling around my chest
I want to cry somehow
But I couldn’t keep focus
全部吸进去(all sucked in)
全部 (all)
（喘气）
It is gravitating
It pulls me
我的脸上爬满了青筋(blue veins crawled over my face）
（喘气）
Trashure
I started this mess with no bright light in my head
It was made with pure intention
And pure lack of intention
I feel the intertwining of the two
Some might quote it as angels and devils but i see them as two grey little shadows
Absorbed to my vessel
Caught willingly
Release and contract
A pair of lungs
A paper bag to blow into
Sometimes it made me want to stop breathing
But i always carry on
Now that i look into this pile of trash, i feel a flash of emotion in me that i love them. But when i stare again i don’t.
My mind is disrupted by myself, not that I have another person in me, not that I have two sides of some yin-yang theory. I felt I am walking by myself, along with my bone-born shadows embedded vertically like wiggly glass windshields, moving along.
What is practice
My practice has become me
Became my mind and my body
it looks piercing through my life through my eyes, it is with me when I move, it calls me when my heart beats faster as I see something exciting, and it raises my hand to capture these things
It is a psychiatric symbiosis
Of raw subconsciousness, and pure intention
